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Don't Overlook the Quiet Victims
Many victims after a tragic event are stunned and may appear
unaffected. Remember that many people can be affected by a tragic
event - witnesses, rescuers, children . . .
Don't overlook these invisible victims."
When you suspect someone is affected by a tragic event, reach out
with Caring Curiosity - How are you?
Protect the victim from making impulsive
decisions. Most major decisions can wait until the victim is
thinking clearly.
Protect the victims
from being victimized by others who may not have the best interest of the
victim in mind.
Provide for the
victim's physical needs-food, medicine, safe place...
Reassure: Many victims have an urgent
need for information after a tragic event - "What happened?";
"Why?" Assist the victim in getting the information he needs.
The victim may need an Information Advocate.
 Victims often blame
themselves for the crisis event. Help a guilty victim gain
perspective by asking him to tell you the "whole story."
Try to gently point
out to the victim what he did right before, during, or after the
tragic event.
Organize: Victims are often paralyzed after a tragic event and often
lose their capacity to deal with all the new demands created by the
tragedy. Assist the victim in developing a simple plan.
Suggest - Let's focus on what needs to be done now."
Reinforce the actions which the victim is taking or wants to take to
emotionally survive the tragic event. The victim will struggle to
find something or someone to hold onto in the first few hours. You
may need to "clear the way" so that what the victim wants to do
he is able to do.
Summary:
In the first few hours after a tragic event, the victim is often
surrounded by people who have "a job to do" or who have opinions
about what the victim should or shouldn't do. The primary goal of
the person providing Emotional First Aid is to enable the victim to act
according to his wishes, values, and beliefs and not according to what
others think should be done.
 Do not "over
care" or do too much for the victim. Remember that the primary
psychological challenge for the victim is to regain a sense of control.
Therefore, the victim should be encouraged to make decisions and take
action in his own behalf.
Finally,
a broken heart cannot "be fixed." Don't try! A
caring presence is what you can offer to someone who is emotionally
devastated. Just being there is very powerful and will be
experienced by the victim as very helpful.
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